Re: Another victim of himself
Just because we only hear about Catholics in the media doesn't mean that other religions do not have their own problems as well. I have heard Protestant clergy & Buddhist monks having problems with their sexuality. I have heard of Orthodox Jews having severe marriage problems. Muslim women are known to be sexually mutilated & abused. When I lived in Central Asia I had many Muslim men tell me that their first sexual experience was with a man, often a family member.
Anytime you tell someone YOU CAN'T DO THIS OR THAT you always get the opposite. It is human nature to rebel but we also have the capacity for self-discipline & we know the difference between right & wrong.
Of course the sexual abuses done by the priests is inexcusable but in light of that, I also think it is human nature to have a dark side. I think everyone to whatever degree, has something in their closet. A skeleton or maybe a few bones or at least GUILT over something we did do or failed to do.
In battling cancer the past few months I have learned a hell of a lot about forgiveness. I have learned that it opens the door to healing physically AND emotionally. Anger & hatred are slow killers. Forgiveness does not mean you are letting the person off the hook, (they made have a BIG amends project to do to regain the trust of others) but it recognizes the rightness of our fellow man & gives them a road out of their horribleness & gives the forgiver a chance to let go & move on.
Quantum mechanics has been demonstrating for quite awhile that despite the apparency of time & space, there is an underlying fabric that connects all matter. In some philosophies, there is the idea that "we are all one" or we at least are each others' spiritual brothers. If any of this is so, then it would follow that what I said before is not only a good idea but vital. Otherwise one continues to try & fragment something that is already a unified whole.
I have noticed over the years that some of the best athletes will sometimes get burned by big mistakes but the next time around make the play of the game. That is because they move on. They forget about the past mistake in the sense that they don't beat themselves up over it. They learn & turn it into success the next time.
I personally believe that not being able to forgive someone else is really a testament to not being able to forgive oneself for something similar if not exact. And if we can't heal ourselves personally then we as a race won't survive very well. There will always be someone else to hate & fight & kill.
If you want a way out of your own anger forgiving is a pretty good way out. And to handle your own sense of misfortune & unjust acts, make the perpetrator accountable. Make them fix the damage & then do an amends. You will be amazed at how much better everyone feels in the end.
Re: Another victim of himself
You make some good points KR. It isn't only religion that has problems or just the Catholic Church. It is just more often there as opposed to other religions. Believe this, if it was rampant in Jewish Synogouges (?) it would be on tv, same as with Baptist Churches.
You make a great point about people moving on after a mistake. I would point to dogs to learn this lesson. I love my boxer (Pete after Pete Rose). No matter what I do that might piss him off, he forgives me unconditionally. Doesn't matter if he just got in trouble for chewing my shoe and I yelled at him. Two minutes later he is trying to crawl on my lap. Dogs can teach us a lot.
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