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Thread: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

  1. #1
    Super Moderator Dart Shark's Avatar
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    Default Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    Rarely do I even forward these things along, but it's pretty amusing.

    FROM THE YEAR 2029

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.


    Couple petitions court to reinstate
    heterosexual marriage.



    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria and Lebanon ).



    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .



    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.



    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.



    Postal Service
    raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.


    Average weight of Americans drops
    to 250 lbs.


    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.


    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.


    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    Sounds like something that would appeal to the talk radio crowd. Among other things, I don't think nuking countries is all that funny, but it may just be my lack of humor.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Dart Shark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    Reasons why I don't talk about politics for $100, Alex.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    There aren't $100 values on Jeopardy anymore!
    I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!

    Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can't get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    Reasons for sleeping on the couch tonight for $500, Alex.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
    "All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind." -- Abraham Lincoln

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    Super Moderator Dart Shark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    You're right, it's $200.

    And remember, that's not a personal swipe at anyone, just thought it was an amusing view into the future from (whatever) realm this originated.

  7. #7
    Herbert DEC Askren 5-4
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    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    Quote Originally Posted by matclone View Post
    Sounds like something that would appeal to the talk radio crowd. Among other things, I don't think nuking countries is all that funny, but it may just be my lack of humor.

    oh matclone...be easy

    I'm sure Dart Shark point of posting this was to advocate the bombing of other countries
    I wish I could kick Matt Dragon in the balls. In his Dragonballz.

  8. #8
    National Finalist MOJO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthy E-Mail Forward: From the Year 2029

    Quote Originally Posted by matclone View Post
    Sounds like something that would appeal to the talk radio crowd. Among other things, I don't think nuking countries is all that funny, but it may just be my lack of humor.
    Brother Matclone,
    I agree, joking about nuking other countries is not funny in this day and age, but I took that joke as a reference to Iran's developing a nuclear energy program and having a "Cherynobel" type accident. Not much funnier, but certainly more ironic.

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