 This Is Pretty Good
Here's hoping that all of you haven't seen this a million and one times already. If not, enjoy!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time
for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me.......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on
his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or
not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle
ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to
sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird
gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see
the plain truth? That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This
new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!...... What
is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?...... We need some
black chickens!
__________________
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