If I can do what needs to be done with my current situation this will be it. But I don't know how I am doing. I get the basics done during the day and after that I numb myself and then wake up in the middle of the night in a bad place and scared. From my perspective I am only doing so-so at the moment. I am a strong advocate for my child, but at the same time nothing constructive to get where we were is happening.