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Thread: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

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  1. #1

    Default TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

    "S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

    "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

  2. #2

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Sister Mary Margaret enters O 'Flynn's liquor shop.
    "I'd like to buy a bottle of Irish whiskey", she tells O 'Flynn.
    The owner of the store shakes his head and frowns.
    "A bottle of Irish whiskey? And you being a nun too."
    "Oh no, no," Sister Mary Margaret exclaims. "It's for Father Reilly.
    His constipation, you know."
    O'Flynn smiles, nods, and puts a bottle into a bag.
    Sister Mary Margaret pays, takes the bag and goes on her way.
    Later that day, O'Flynn closes shop for the day.
    On his way home he passes an alley. There in the alley is Sister Mary Margaret.
    She's rip roaring drunk, the empty bottle at her side.
    "Sister!" O'Flynn scolds.
    "And you said it was for Father Reilly's constipation."
    "It is," answers Sister Mary Margaret.
    "When he sees me, he's gonna s**t!"

  3. #3

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years.
    After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat
    "We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor?
    Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over my grave."
    Pat replied, "I would be glad to do that for you my old friend.
    But would you mind if I passed it through my bladder first?"

  4. #4

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Why don't you take that crap somewhere where people want to read stereotypes? I hear that bigot.com will welcome ethnic joke threads.

    Wow! Nice to see that our country is progressing, eh, folks?
    UNI Panthers...Because it's just right.

  5. #5

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ban basketball View Post
    Why don't you take that crap somewhere where people want to read stereotypes? I hear that bigot.com will welcome ethnic joke threads.

    Wow! Nice to see that our country is progressing, eh, folks?
    The title of the thread describes well enough what to expect so you shouldn't have been surprised enough to react..

    If you have an issue with a thread please use the report a post feature rather than attacking another poster- it just makes stuff spiral out of control.

    Thanks!

    P.S. I actually thought the first one was rather funny. *(unless it has some strange underlying message besides "Irish people like to drink" I am missing.. lol)

  6. #6

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ban basketball View Post
    Why don't you take that crap somewhere where people want to read stereotypes? I hear that bigot.com will welcome ethnic joke threads.

    Wow! Nice to see that our country is progressing, eh, folks?
    Brenda O'Malley is home as usual, making dinner, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ye." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ye, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery...""Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me...""Sure and I must, Brenda. Your husband Seamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Brenda reached a hand out to her side, found the arm of the rocking chair by the fireplace, pulled the chair to her and collapsed into it. She wept for many minutes. Finally she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?""It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinnesss Stout and drowned.""Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?""Well, no Brenda......no.""No?""Fact is, he got out three times to pee."

  7. #7

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Schlottke may not like this one!


    Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".

  8. #8

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ban basketball View Post
    Why don't you take that crap somewhere where people want to read stereotypes? I hear that bigot.com will welcome ethnic joke threads.

    Wow! Nice to see that our country is progressing, eh, folks?

    Besides... I thought you were ignoring me. I can see now you werent.

  9. #9

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    I will lock the thread pending Jensen's decision.
    RIP Jacob Schlottke 1984-2011




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