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Thread: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

  1. #1

    Default TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

    "S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

    "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

  2. #2

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Sister Mary Margaret enters O 'Flynn's liquor shop.
    "I'd like to buy a bottle of Irish whiskey", she tells O 'Flynn.
    The owner of the store shakes his head and frowns.
    "A bottle of Irish whiskey? And you being a nun too."
    "Oh no, no," Sister Mary Margaret exclaims. "It's for Father Reilly.
    His constipation, you know."
    O'Flynn smiles, nods, and puts a bottle into a bag.
    Sister Mary Margaret pays, takes the bag and goes on her way.
    Later that day, O'Flynn closes shop for the day.
    On his way home he passes an alley. There in the alley is Sister Mary Margaret.
    She's rip roaring drunk, the empty bottle at her side.
    "Sister!" O'Flynn scolds.
    "And you said it was for Father Reilly's constipation."
    "It is," answers Sister Mary Margaret.
    "When he sees me, he's gonna s**t!"

  3. #3

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years.
    After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat
    "We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor?
    Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over my grave."
    Pat replied, "I would be glad to do that for you my old friend.
    But would you mind if I passed it through my bladder first?"

  4. #4

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Why don't you take that crap somewhere where people want to read stereotypes? I hear that bigot.com will welcome ethnic joke threads.

    Wow! Nice to see that our country is progressing, eh, folks?
    UNI Panthers...Because it's just right.

  5. #5

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    I will lock the thread pending Jensen's decision.
    RIP Jacob Schlottke; KR1963 and rpayton




  6. #6

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ban basketball View Post
    Why don't you take that crap somewhere where people want to read stereotypes? I hear that bigot.com will welcome ethnic joke threads.

    Wow! Nice to see that our country is progressing, eh, folks?
    The title of the thread describes well enough what to expect so you shouldn't have been surprised enough to react..

    If you have an issue with a thread please use the report a post feature rather than attacking another poster- it just makes stuff spiral out of control.

    Thanks!

    P.S. I actually thought the first one was rather funny. *(unless it has some strange underlying message besides "Irish people like to drink" I am missing.. lol)

  7. #7

    Default TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread II

    I see I was in the wrong forum. I'll start if over here.

    An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub.
    Each orderd a pint of beer. Then a fly landed in each one's beer.

    The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one.

    The Scott took the fly out, shrugged, and drank his beer.

    The Irisman pinched the fly between his fingers and yelled
    "SPIT IT OUT!" "SPIT IT OUT!"

  8. #8

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread II

    Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming,
    "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya' don't give up you're drinkin' and it's to Hell I'll take ye'".
    Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?".
    Too that the Missus replied, "I'm the divil ya' damned old fool".
    To which Flaherty remarked, "Damned glad to meet you sir, I'm married to yer sister."

  9. #9

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread II

    A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "What's your name and address?"
    "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
    The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.
    "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."

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