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Thread: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

  1. #19
    Ancient Arachnid Spider's Avatar
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    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread II

    An Irishman is walking through the woods when he comes upon a leprechaun caught in a trap. Upon freeing the leprechaun, he is informed that he will be granted three wishes, but because the leprechaun is a sly one, he is told that whatever he wishes for, his worst enemy, Finnegan, will receive double. The Irishman thinks for a minute, then says that he would like a hundred acre estate in the hills of Ireland where he can spend the rest of his days in blissful relaxation. ?Done,? says the leprechaun, ?but your worst enemy, Finnegan, will be getting a two hundred acre estate.? Next, the Irishman wishes for fifty young and beautiful Irish lasses to attend to his every physical need. ?Done again,? says the leprechaun, ?but know that Finnegan will be getting a hundred beautiful lasses.? ?And for my final wish,? says the Irishman, ?could you please remove one of me testicles.?
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  2. #20

    Default Re: Irish Joke Threads

    I guess we'd lose you too then in that case, since you wouldn't have anything to talk about anymore.

  3. #21
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    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread II

    A Texan is visiting Ireland and goes to a pub. There he announces that he doesn't believe all the stories he's heard about how the Irish can consume so much beer. He bets anyone $100 that they can't drink ten pints of Guinness in ten minutes.

    No one takes the bet, and one fellow even leaves the bar. Fifteen minutes later, the fellow who left comes back in and says, "I'll take that bet," whereupon he proceedes to drink the ten bottles in ten minutes.

    The Texan pays up, but asks, "When I made the bet, why did you leave?"

    The Irishman answers, "Before I took the bet, I went to the pub next door to see if I could do it."
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  4. #22

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignatius J. Reilly View Post
    these are hilarious. even more hilarious is BB crying like a wittle baby just like last time this happened!

    hahaha!!
    The Dark Forces of Censorship were engaged AND repelled!

  5. #23

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    Three men walk into a bar: a Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman. Each orders one beer. Three flys fly into the bar and one fly lands in each man's beer.

    The Italian man plucks the fly out of his beer, says "tutto e bene" (all is well)" and drinks the beer.
    The Frenchman shows his beer with the bug still inside it to the bartender and demands another beer.
    The Irishman yanks the bug out of the beer, grabs it by it's wings, shakes it while yelling

    "Cough it up, you wee theivin' ba***rd!"

  6. #24

    Default Re: Irish Joke Threads

    Quote Originally Posted by JensenS View Post
    I guess we'd lose you too then in that case, since you wouldn't have anything to talk about anymore.
    lol

  7. #25

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

    At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

    His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

  8. #26

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    A young gentleman sitting at a bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed at the bar. The man proceeded to say "Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up .Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn, and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son. ""Well " said the bartended "I guess this pig is very special so I'll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened? " "Well said the young man, when you got a pig this good you don't eat him all at once !!!"

  9. #27

    Default Re: TightWaist's 2009 Politically Incorrect Irish Joke Thread

    The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "
    "Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."

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