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Thread: Tebow is leaving!

  1. #1

    Default Tebow is leaving!

    Tebow Skips Senior Season, Ascends Directly Into Heaven

    MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national
    championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim
    Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend
    directly into heaven.

    Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24-
    hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman
    winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the
    podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters
    fainted.

    "Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with
    cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal
    him."

    "I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University
    of Florida, winning two national championships, has been a great
    honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to
    clear that up right now," he continued.

    "Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room.

    "After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at
    the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow
    announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a
    blinding white light and vanished.

    In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long
    tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will
    feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood),
    re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air
    personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most
    Tebow-like" person in America.

    "He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said
    a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming
    down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on
    earth."

  2. #2
    Olympic Champ ISU2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    Love it
    You do the math..... I'll do the alfredo!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  3. #3
    Olympic Champ therick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    I can actually imagine espn doing something stupid like that......

  4. #4

    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    the Onion? that was a pretty funny article.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    I didn't catch all of the game, watched untill half time. I turned the chanel because I thought the guys doing the play by play were going to blow him on the 50 yard line and I didn't want my kids to see it. I'm pretty sure they at least went into the locker room, had him dip it in some finger paint and slap them in the face with it so they could wear his cock print for the rest of the night.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    Oh, I get it Rusty ... bag on the poor kid because he's a christian and proud of it. You should be ashamed of yourself.


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  7. #7

    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    Just breaking off the AP wire- Tebow is actually going to remain in The Swamp to finish out his senior year.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    Quote Originally Posted by MetsFan View Post
    Oh, I get it Rusty ... bag on the poor kid because he's a christian and proud of it. You should be ashamed of yourself.
    I know, what a bigot I am. Schottke is right though, Timmy is staying in Gainesville for another year. Dammit. Not good news for the Noles. If Spikes and Harvin return, that is going to be one hell of a team yet again.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Tebow is leaving!

    A sign at a local Church upon news of Timmy returning.


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