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Thread: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

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  1. #1
    Ancient Arachnid Spider's Avatar
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    Default Greatest Invention of the 20th Century



    Just cleared 8" off the driveway effortlessly. More expected tonight.
    Atrophy: what you get when you win atournament.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    I envy you. We're in the Twin Cities and I've moved every inch of this year's snow off our driveway hand. I hope to add a picture like this to the "Post your latest purchase" thread. But alas for now its just my scoop and me.

    PS. So I scoop several times during the heavy snowfall. Inevitably as soon as I finish the city snowplow comes by and throws several inches halfway back up my driveway and leaves a 2 foot pile across the entrance...putting me back to the scooping board.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    Quote Originally Posted by pm01 View Post
    I envy you. We're in the Twin Cities and I've moved every inch of this year's snow off our driveway hand. I hope to add a picture like this to the "Post your latest purchase" thread. But alas for now its just my scoop and me.

    PS. So I scoop several times during the heavy snowfall. Inevitably as soon as I finish the city snowplow comes by and throws several inches halfway back up my driveway and leaves a 2 foot pile across the entrance...putting me back to the scooping board.
    Whenever they did that to me I used to plow through it and just leave it there... lol.

  4. #4
    Administrator Gold's Avatar
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    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    I do a far better job than a snow blower can hope to. Not impressed.


  5. #5
    Ancient Arachnid Spider's Avatar
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    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    Quote Originally Posted by Gold View Post
    I do a far better job than a snow blower can hope to. Not impressed.
    If you had my shoulders and my back, you'd gladly sacrifice a little quality for the ease of removal.
    Atrophy: what you get when you win atournament.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    I got this forwarded to me from a friend. BELIEVE ME, I never forward email jokes, which should give you some kind of idea as to how good I thought this one was.

    Keep reading...your patience will pay off.

    DIARY OF A SNOW
    SHOVELER

    December 8 - 6:00 PM
    It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
    the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the
    window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
    It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So
    romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
    snow!

    December 9
    We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
    covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
    sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole
    world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
    had! Shovelled for the first time in years and felt
    like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the
    sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along
    and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so
    I got to shovel again. What a perfect
    life!

    December 12
    The sun has melted all our lovely snow.. Such a
    disappointment! My neighbour tells me not to worry-
    we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow
    on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have
    so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want
    to see snow again. I don't think that's
    possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad
    he's our neighbour.

    December 14
    Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The
    temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
    sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
    up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
    the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and
    buried everything again. I didn't realize I would
    have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll
    certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I
    wouldn't huff and puff so.

    December 15
    20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
    Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
    extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
    wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
    think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska ,
    after all.

    December 16
    Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in
    the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.
    The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
    cruel.


    December 17
    Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
    anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had
    to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do
    but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
    Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but
    won't admit it to her. God I hate it when
    she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing
    to death in my own living room.

    December 20
    Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the
    damn stuff last night. More shovelling! Took all
    day. The dam snowplough came by twice. Tried to
    find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're
    too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
    Called the only hardware store around to see about
    buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
    another shipment in March. I think they're lying.
    Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it
    done and bill me. I think he's lying.

    December 22
    Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
    inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold,
    it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45
    minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
    had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and
    dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
    hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the
    winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the
    butthole is lying.

    December 23
    Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
    The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
    this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why
    didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
    says she did but I think she's lying.

    December 24
    6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the
    shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If
    I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plough,
    I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him
    to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around
    the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he
    comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow
    all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife
    wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our
    presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn
    snowplough.

    December 25
    Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
    slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes
    my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the
    snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit
    him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have
    a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot.
    If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful
    Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into
    the microwave.

    December 26
    Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here?
    It was all HER idea. She's really
    getting on my nerves.

    December 27
    Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber
    came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me
    $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

    December 28
    Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. My
    WIFE is driving me crazy!!!

    December 29
    10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
    it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
    heard. How dumb does he think I am?

    December 30
    Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and
    now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the
    beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken
    snow shovel up his BUTT. The wife went home to her
    mother. Nine more inches predicted.

    December 31
    I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
    shovelling.

    January 8
    Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
    they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the
    bed?
    UNI Panthers...Because it's just right.

  7. #7
    Ancient Arachnid Spider's Avatar
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    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    Just removed 18 inches from the driveway and it's still coming down. I stand my my thread.
    Atrophy: what you get when you win atournament.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Greatest Invention of the 20th Century

    Quote Originally Posted by Spider View Post
    Just removed 18 inches from the driveway and it's still coming down. I stand my my thread.
    So you're saying I should complain about the 3 inches here? It is a lot for TN...

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Spider View Post
    Just removed 18 inches from the driveway and it's still coming down. I stand my my thread.
    Sounds fun actually.

    I got home from work last to find my wife had shoveled the two inches of snow off our driveway. If she keeps doing that I may need to rethink my purchase.

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