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Thread: Why did the chicken cross the road?

  1. #1

    Default Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

    BARACK OBAMA:
    The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    JOHN MC CAIN:
    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because she recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON:
    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
    road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from
    Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that she must
    first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before she goes after
    the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help her realize how stupid she's acting by not taking on her 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why she
    wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from her mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that she can just drive across the road and not live her life like the rest of the flock.

    GEORGE W. BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here... life has no
    medians.

    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
    intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because she's GUILTY! You can see it in her eyes and the way she walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American... anyone knows we need a better fence!

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did she cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed at the toll, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting, yet went on to accomplish her life
    long dream of crossing the road.


    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will
    lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

    Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is
    much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........reboot, BOYS reboot!

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE:
    You do know I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun? They don't fly ya' know?


    Shea Stadium
    1964 - 2008

    http://www.theopenmat.com/

  2. #2
    NCAA Champ WhippetGrappler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Did you make these up or is this plagerism(sp)? These are pretty funny.
    BRUTUS BUCKEYE WILL TAKE YOU DOWN...

  3. #3

    Default Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    I wish I could take credit for them, but they're not mine. I don't know where they originally came from. I got them forwarded in an email.


    Shea Stadium
    1964 - 2008

    http://www.theopenmat.com/

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