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Thread: Friday Humor

  1. #10

    Default Re: Friday Humor

    How the fight started



    I rear-ended a car this morning . . . the start of a REALLY bad day!

    The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf!

    He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!"

    So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

    That's how the fight started.

  2. #11

    Default Re: Friday Humor

    So you rear-ended Ken Chertow? Did you get any information on his camps?
    I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!

    Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can't get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it.

  3. #12

    Default Re: Friday Humor

    That's funny. I already new about his camps. He spam mailed me.

  4. #13

    Default Re: Friday Humor

    Ken Chertow does camps? really?

    Super 32 Challenge - October 26-27, 2013

    "Good things happen when you wrestle for a full seven minutes." -- Jayson Ness, post-finals press conference

  5. #14
    Super Moderator Zapp Brannigan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Humor

    A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

    She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, brig me another beer. It's gonna start!"

    This time she looked a little angry, bu brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, get me another beer before it starts!."

    "That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like a slave, getting you beer after beer? Don't you realize that I cook, clean, wash, and iron all day long??"

    The husband sighed and said, "Oh shit, it's started."

  6. #15

    Default Re: Friday Humor

    Ha! I guess she never heard the "Men are Like Linoleum Theory".
    "All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind." -- Abraham Lincoln

  7. #16

    Default Re: Friday Humor

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
    They had great seats right behind their teams Bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience?

    "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

    Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
    "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming
    was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!

  8. #17
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    Default Re: Friday Humor

    A Chinese couple decide to get married: He's the owner of a restaurant; and she's a young beautiful virgin, but quite bashful. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband quickly undresses.

    He climbs in bed next to her and tries to be very sensitive and reassuring: "My darling, I know this is you first time and you very frightened... I promise you, I will do anything you want, I will give you anything you want. What is your most secret desire?"

    She looks deeply into his eyes and says, "I want number 69."

    Quite surprised at her request, he says, "You want beef with broccoli?"

  9. #18
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    Default Re: Friday Humor

    Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car
    accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma.

    After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that
    she is no longer pregnant.

    Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

    The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins - a boy
    and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came
    in and named them."

    The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba;
    he's an idiot!"

    Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well,
    what's the girl's name?"

    "Denise," the doctor answers.

    The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful
    name, maybe I was wrong about my brother. I
    really like the name Denise."

    "What's the boy's name?"

    The doctor replies, "Denephew."

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