I was thinking about hijacking the "Drunk driving to a new level" thread, but decided this really belonged in "Non-wrestling" instead of "Religion and Politics". What is the best story you ever cooked up to get out of a ticket? I suppose I would accept a REALLY, REALLY good story that failed to get you off - but it had better be something inventive. Poetry Mom - what is the best story you heard? Or do you have a whole collection? Most cops that I know have a book full of great "and then he said/did . . . . " stories. Let's hear some.
My own best get-out-of-a-ticket: I got stopped for (as per usual) speeding, 11:00 at night on a lightly (at that time of night) freeway. After I do my usual - wave the hand out the window, yes, I see you and I am responding - I drove to the next off-ramp and exited the freeway. When the officer got to my window the engine was off, the interior lights were on, the window was down, and my hands were on the top of the steering wheel. His first words: "Do you know how fast you were going?" My response: "When you hit me with the lights I looked at the dash - I was doing about 80 - but I had already gotten off the pedal so I would guess about 85". This was in a 65 zone.
He asked me what the hurry was about. I answered "I have just gotten off my second consecuative 16 hour day - with about 4 hours sleep between the two days. Today I got pepper sprayed twice. I want to go home, get a shower, and go to bed." He wanted to know what the h3ll I did to get pepper sprayed, which gave me the opportunity to tell him that I work for the Department of Corrections. He asked for proof, I showed him my badge, and he let me go - with the warning (highly justified) "Slow down. I really don't want to have to scrape you off the freeway."
Later I'll tell how I talked my way out of an under-age drunk driving ticket - but the dogs are bugging me to take them for a run, so duty calls!