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Thread: Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

  1. #1

    Default Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

    I was thinking about hijacking the "Drunk driving to a new level" thread, but decided this really belonged in "Non-wrestling" instead of "Religion and Politics". What is the best story you ever cooked up to get out of a ticket? I suppose I would accept a REALLY, REALLY good story that failed to get you off - but it had better be something inventive. Poetry Mom - what is the best story you heard? Or do you have a whole collection? Most cops that I know have a book full of great "and then he said/did . . . . " stories. Let's hear some.

    My own best get-out-of-a-ticket: I got stopped for (as per usual) speeding, 11:00 at night on a lightly (at that time of night) freeway. After I do my usual - wave the hand out the window, yes, I see you and I am responding - I drove to the next off-ramp and exited the freeway. When the officer got to my window the engine was off, the interior lights were on, the window was down, and my hands were on the top of the steering wheel. His first words: "Do you know how fast you were going?" My response: "When you hit me with the lights I looked at the dash - I was doing about 80 - but I had already gotten off the pedal so I would guess about 85". This was in a 65 zone.
    He asked me what the hurry was about. I answered "I have just gotten off my second consecuative 16 hour day - with about 4 hours sleep between the two days. Today I got pepper sprayed twice. I want to go home, get a shower, and go to bed." He wanted to know what the h3ll I did to get pepper sprayed, which gave me the opportunity to tell him that I work for the Department of Corrections. He asked for proof, I showed him my badge, and he let me go - with the warning (highly justified) "Slow down. I really don't want to have to scrape you off the freeway."
    Later I'll tell how I talked my way out of an under-age drunk driving ticket - but the dogs are bugging me to take them for a run, so duty calls!

    R.I.P. Cyrano and Roxanne.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

    I had heard once from a comedian that I can't recall, that if you tell a cop you have diarrhea they will let you go. I tried it in the mid 90's and the cop was nice enough to follow me to the nearest restroom (how do you fake that?), but I still got the ticket.

    I once got caught leaning against a tree and looking like I was pissing while my friend was one tree over actually pissing. Miami of Ohio campus is that small. Anyway, the cop walks up behind me asking what I'm doing. I said "nothing". He said "it looks to me like you're using this campus like your own toilet". I turned around real quick and he thought I was going to pee on him. I was just standing there and my buddy was the one going to the restroom, but when I whipped around, the cop nearly ran for the curb. Unintentional, but funny.

  3. #3
    Olympic Champ RYou's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
    New Jersey

    Default Re: Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

    "I showed him my badge"

    Sounds like professional courtesy.

    I had a Chevy Blazer with a digital speedometer. I get pulled over and says I was doing 38 in 25. I told I looked down when you hit the lights an saw I was only doing 28. I really had no idea. He look in at the dash and says, oaky I'll cite for not wearing a seatbelt. What a chump. Classic case of pulling a stop over with no radar and trying to pulling the I know how fast you were. Cops around here are big on guestimate speeding violations and they're virtually unbeatable.

    Best move - I was hauling down the NJ Turnpike doing 80+ in the middle lane. I get lit up, so as I'm pulling over I spill some soda in my lap. Officer comes to the window, looks down and says "What happened?" I say, I was trying to get to the next rest stop, but you pulled me over and I couldn't hold it anymore. He busts out laughing and tells me to get the hell outta here.

    Most unexpected. I get pulled over when I'm in college. The cop looks at my license and asks "Are you related to Fred?" I tell him that he's my older brother. He says " Great wrestler, he decked me in the state tournament." Go on, move it, but take it easy in this town, most of the cops here don't like RP wrestlers."
    Life's not the breaths you take, the breathing in and out that gets you through the day ain't what it's all about. It's the moments that take your breath away.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

    RU - great story on the wrestling fraternity! I wonder if he would have let you go if he had beaten your brother?
    There is no question in my mind that the officer let me off on "professional courtesy" - but please note that at no time did I ask for a break or offer the information that I was a peace officer. He asked me why I was driving so fast and I told him. He asked me why I got pepper sprayed . . . . Now it is also true that my license plate, and the plates of my wife and daughters are all "blocked" in the CA DMV system. It requires special authorization to release the name and address for those plates. This is so that the families of prisoners can't take down the licenses of staff in the parking lot and then attack staff and/or their families. (Yes, this has happened - all too often. We had a recent case of an adult facility staff member who was attacked in his neighborhood grocery store when some scuzzball recognized him after visiting his scuzzball relative at a prison.) My daughter got stopped for speeding (there may be a genetic link) and the officer asked her why her plate was blocked. She told him that her father worked in corrections. He let her off with a warning. Professional courtesy or being nice to a very pretty young single woman? I don't know but I'll take it. She responded to his questions. My wife and daughters have been warned - carefully and extensively - to NEVER try to "flash the badge" to get out of something. It would be unethical, which, for me and mine is sufficient reason. On top of that, if it offended the officer and he/she decided to make a case, it could cost me my job.

    R.I.P. Cyrano and Roxanne.

  5. #5


    Not a good night so thanks for this outlet.

    I ran into all sorts situations. I stopped a female driving about 60 in a 35. Her boyfriend decided he would take over and get her out of the ticket by saying they were rushing their dog to the vet. The couple's dog was pretty happy to see me as it was panting and slobbery up the back windows. I asked what was wrong and superboyfriend said his dog was "hyperventilating." The thing is the dog looked just fine and the two sped past two animal hospitals before meeting me. I told superboyfriend to put a paperbag over the dog's mouth and I would be back with a ticket.

    As for professional courtesy goes, I gave it and rcv'd it but never expected it. Oh I've written one cop and booked one once. Not a good feeling. I've buried more than I ever had the opportunity to take enforcement action on.

  6. #6


    MR, having confidentialty on the reg and DL is a valuable tool! Also having to declare I was packing heat always broke the ice. I know agencies that write cops but most cops I know almost never do. CHP monitored their officers in the Bay Area for professional courteousy and theatened termination if they gave or took it.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

    I used a "courtesy card" twice to get out of tickets. The first time was willfully when I came down a country road (55mph) into the City of Medina (25mph). I got to a gas station and rushed to empty my bladder also intending to fill my car's. When I came out of the restroom a patrol car was behind me and the officer gave me the particulars. I asked if this courtesy card that I had received from one of the FOP higher ups was acceptable and he said OK.

    The second time happened when I went through a yellow light too late (WAY to late). After producing my license I was rifling through cards in my wallet to find the requested POI. He stopped me and asked about a card he saw in the stack. It was a courtesy card given to me by a fellow worker (former patrolman) several years before, that I had completely forgotten about. He told me to give him the card and be more carefull in the future. I was shocked because this happened in the wee small Village of Woodmere, surrounded by the City of Beachwood and Orange Village, and is known to have a reputation for giving tickets.

    I just realized (upon review) that in my forty+ years of driving that I have received more tickets for red lights than speeding.
    DSCH: a Soviet artist's reply to unjust criticism.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Your best/most creative/successful get-out-of-a-ticket story

    I got pulled over tonight. I was polite and honest ("I'm not sure how fast I was going, but clearly it was too fast") and they let me go with no ticket. Not really a good story, but I've ben let off with a warning several times just by being respectful and not trying to argue.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by arm-spin View Post
    I got pulled over tonight. I was polite and honest ("I'm not sure how fast I was going, but clearly it was too fast") and they let me go with no ticket. Not really a good story, but I've ben let off with a warning several times just by being respectful and not trying to argue.
    What no sudden or furtive movement triggering an instinctive beat-and-release response from the po-po?

    Good job and congratulations my friend. I gave far more warnings than tickets in my career. Not everyone needs a ticket to help them to refocus their attention on speed, lane position, etc.

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