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Thread: Interracial dating and marriage.

  1. #10

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by pm01 View Post
    However, not all mixed relationships are viewed equally, so I think the degree in which it really is accepted depends upon the racial make-up of the couple.
    That is an excellent point. When this topic is raised, most will think of black/white, but there are many other combinations to consider.


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  2. #11

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by pm01 View Post
    How do you feel American society views it today? Do you feel society today is less tolerant, more tolerant, or unchanged than in the past?

    How do you feel your parents and grandparent feel/felt? Are you comfortable in sharing your personal views on it?

    --pm
    IMO, more tolerant, but I also think it depends on what race or races are involved.

  3. #12

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    I think that American society has become more tolerant in general. Certainly I have seen great changes in my 61 years. One thing that I have noticed, with mixed amusement and irritation, is the confusion created for mixed-race children when racial identity is required on government forms. In the schools where I taught, it was decided that the students, in filling out the form, had the right to select whatever box they felt was appropriate. (Believe it or not, this required much debate and discussion.) It lead to a certain amount of amusement when the little Nordic blonde chose "African-American" or the Spanish speaking, 3-weeks-up-from-Mexico child preferred to check "Pacific Islander". But it really created confusion for the kids who, like Tiger Woods, could claim multiple ethnicities. They just didn't have a box to check, and didn't want to have to pick one over another.

    R.I.P. Cyrano and Roxanne.

  4. #13
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    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    I have no problem with it, but there are varying degrees that all cloud the debate. How does one define, say a Puerto Rican dating a general Caucasian vs. an dark-skinned African American dating a general Caucasian?

    Perception is always the issue here. I'm not adverse to dating outside of my race, as I'm just a "general white guy" but I think people confuse racism in this case with preference. You can be partial to one race over another in dating and not have it come off as racist, depending on who we're talking about and the general attractiveness (eye of the beholder) of each.

    Is it a racist comment to say I would rather date an Asian over a Puerto Rican, or an African American over an Indian?

    I don't think people go out of their way to date interracially ... thus, preference plays a role. If someone's attractive, they're attractive (mentally, physically, whatever the reasons people date).

    Brings into question something Wrestling Terp brought up on a bi-racial thread ... why is there no category for this?

    I do think the outside perception can cause some reverse racism type of thinking. My best friend is dating a black guy, which I have no problem with. When I talked to him on the phone, I then asked her "Is he black?" because of the inflection and tone of his voice ... I said "he sounded like it" -- that in itself could be viewed as a statement to cause some ire, but you know what I mean when I describe this. Apparently my friend took the context the wrong way, then proceeded to lie about it for the next six months.

    This is the reverse effect. Her not knowing I had no problem with her dating a black guy was compounded by her fears of what I might say, causing her to deny it, even though I could tell. Thinking that others might not be accepting to it can cause even more issues within the relationship.

    Assuming others aren't ok with it and hiding it without knowing isn't fair to the other person involved ... but then there's the case of a parent essentially disowning the party involved because of the interracial relationship -- which is unfortunately the case with my friend as well. I find that while bigotry and racism is passed down in some ways generationally, the trickle down is that the next generation is generally more open about it. My parents -- not exactly kosher, their parents, oh hell no, their parents ... let's not go there.

  5. #14

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    I guess I didn't really answer your question. Personally, I don't much care who marries whom. It would be nice if they put some thought into the nature of the relationship and had something more going than mutual lust. My mother was a good Christian woman who would have told you she didn't have a prejudiced bone in her body. That didn't stop her from distaining blacks, hispanics, jews, Roms, homosexuals, etc. Actually, in this area, she would have fit into 1930's Germany quite comfortably. My dad, as a young man, had a lot of preconceived notions and prejudices. As he matured, he changed. He was a career NCO and as such, dealt with men of all ethnicities and races. He learned that there were good people and not so good people, and skin color had nothing to do with it. The one exception was his abiding hatred for the Japanese as a result of WWII. Strangely, he dispised WWII Germany, but did not hold post-war Germany in the same regard. Not so Japan.

    R.I.P. Cyrano and Roxanne.

  6. #15

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    I should mention that I am having some trouble adjusting to my daughter dating a Notre Dame grad.

    R.I.P. Cyrano and Roxanne.

  7. #16

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by M Richardson View Post
    I should mention that I am having some trouble adjusting to my daughter dating a Notre Dame grad.
    My family would have no problem with me dating someone from another race. But if I brought home a Dook grad or a soccer player, all h*** would break loose
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  8. #17

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    My mom always says my sister is in a mixed marriage because she married a Packers fan.

    Any who, my last two boyfriends were black (I'm white) and the reaction to us was never anything remarkable. At the same time, I know people who still had an issue with it. I'm not sure of my family's reaction since I never brought those guys home. That doesn't really have anything to do with race since I've never brought anyone home.

    I have to tell you my niece's experience. She went to an all-girls' Catholic high school on the northwest side of Chicago. Herself being mixed -- half white, half Cuban -- dating someone of a different race never meant much to her. She took a black young man to a school dance. At the dance, one of the other students said to her "Why don't you go back to your n****?" I was shocked and saddened that a 17-year-old would say that!

  9. #18

    Default Re: Interracial dating and marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluestater View Post
    My mom always says my sister is in a mixed marriage because she married a Packers fan.
    OMG!!! However did THAT happen?

    I've weighed in on this topic before. I do have a few grandparent stories though, but I don't have that much time right now. Maybe tonight or tomorrow...
    "All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind." -- Abraham Lincoln

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