Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Tuesday Humor

  1. #1

    Default Tuesday Humor

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

    After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

    The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
    pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
    nervous, I
    take a sip."

    So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

    At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

    He proceeded to talk up a storm.

    Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note
    on the door:

    1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

    2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

    3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

    4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

    5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

    6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
    7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Big Daddy,
    Junior and the spook.

    8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.

    9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say
    he was stoned off his ass.

    10)We do not
    refer to the cross as the "Big T."

    11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and
    eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".

    12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".

    13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for
    the grub, Yeah God.

    14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a
    peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Dart Shark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    New Brighton, MN
    Posts
    2,866

    Default Re: Tuesday Humor

    I love that joke...

  3. #3
    Olympic Champ RYou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    8,376

    Default Re: Tuesday Humor


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •