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Thread: Jokes for men

  1. #1

    Default Jokes for men

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pickup a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
    probably never be able to support you.

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    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something
    smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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    Why do men pass gas more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.

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    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
    yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told.

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    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
    sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.

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    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.

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    Women will never be equal to men
    Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a
    beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator UGLY's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
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    Default Re: Jokes for men

    I have heard most of them but some I had not and they were funny. Cant wait to tell my wife.

    Are these realy jokes or are they a blueprint for a happy marriage?

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