Okay, Bleacher Creatures! Its time for some pointless speculation!
The following fights have never happened. They have never been scheduled to happen. But they might...
1. Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin
Well, this would be a pretty cool fight, no? Since I like to give opinions that completely disregard reality, fly in the face of reason, and make me look silly sometimes, I'll go ahead and say Shane KO's Brock in the second round.
Second round, you say? Yeah, I'm giving some credit to Brock just for his size and cardio. He'll get the same beating Shane gives to everyone else, but he will just last a little longer.
Who knows? We might get lucky and get another Frye/Thompson to watch. That would be awesome.
2. Anderson Silva vs. Rashad Evans
Why not? Champ vs. Champ. If it's good enough for BJ Penn, it should be good enough for these guys. I don't think Anderson would be able to use his knees as effectively vs. Rashad. Evans is the stronger man.
I think Rashad would press him up against the cage, get a trip take-down, and ground-and-pound Anderson into the loser's circle.
I'm not a big Rashad fan, but I think he would really go after Silva, even though at the time of the fight, Silva will likely outweigh Rashad.
Silva is a natural light heavyweight/heavyweight, just like Forrest who started as a heavyweight.
3. Roger Huerta vs. Joe Stephenson
Joe has lost his last couple but he's still a great fighter; he just needs to let his game evolve a bit.
I don't think Roger wants this fight on the ground where Joe would likely submit him...after a lot of effort, mind you.
Standing, I think its clear Joe has the advantage, also because I don't think Roger has much power in his strikes.
What does Roger have, you ask? Speed. Endurance. Agility. He is a quick thinker who will take advantage of anything Joe gives him. He will never gas.
That being said, I think he would get either TKO from strikes or be subbed by Joe.
4. B.J. Penn vs. Aoki
Well, this would be a weird fight, especially if it was in Japan. They both have amazing BJJ.
Having bodies that seem to have been designed in advance just to compete in this sport, both men have almost no weaknesses on the ground.
That's why BJ would keep it standing, and while I don't like BJ one little bit, he probably has the best take-down defense in the whole world.
His balance is unearthly and he's a contortionist. Not to mention, BJ throws down. And does it well.
Unfortunately, BJ does not take training, fighting, or living up to his potential with any kind of seriousness.
He's rich, famous, has a great business, and is a local hero where he lives. Where does he find the hunger to compete? More importantly, where does he find the hunger to train?
So BJ Penn will win by KO in the first round (in UFC or DREAM). If it goes to the ground they will paralyze each other and it will get stood up, where BJ will once again likely KO Aoki.
If the fight were to be held in Japan though I think that BJ would either KO Aoki in the first round. Even more likely is that they both go to the ground and tie each other in knots for 10 minutes.
It would be a draw and would take weeks to surgically separate the two after they form a human pretzel.
5. Clay Guida vs. Joachim Hansen
This is a toughie. Clay is a great fighter and I think he got robbed big time in his fight with Tyson Griffin.
Clay has a fantastic ground game and can avoid damage on his feet. He is very fast, has a lot of strength, and never gases. He always finds a way to get his opponent to the ground and Joachim could have problems when he's down.
Joachim can smash people. He has probably the third-best knees in MMA (behind Wandy and Anderson), and hes amazingly fast. In addition, he combines that will, accuracy, aggression, and flat-out ferocity.
I like both these fighters. If Joachim keeps it standing, he wins hands down. Clay has to do basically what Aoki has to do against Joachim in their upcoming battle this July. Dance around and try to figure out how to get Hansen down without getting obliterated in the process.
There are other fights I would like to see but I will save those for another time. For now, please enjoy contemplating these fights and please don't be shy about what you think.
-Marco Yanitelli "The Italian Scallion"