Breaking News! Undertaker Slated to Face Justin Bieber at Wrestlemania (SATIRE)
SATIE- One of the most commonly speculated things on this site is who will the Undertaker face at Wrestlemania. There was so much speculation that there was speculation to the speculation.
This appears to be Taker's last one if injuries force him to retire.
We all know he'll end up 19-0 or 20-0 if he lasts that long. Vince won't let the "Streak" end to anybody. Or will he?
If he faces this guy, his streak is in serious doubt.
Jeffawesome.com has reported that Undertaker will face teen pop star sensation Justin Bieber at Wrestlemania 27.
Bieber is thrilled with the idea. The teenage boys...not so much.
WWE will attempt to capitalize on Bieber's overwhelming popularity (and hate) to give them as many PPV buys as possible.
He is even more polarizing than John Cena, if that were possible.
Vince McMahon's public statement on the matter: "Well, since Taker is currently buried alive, I won't comment on this rumor. But hey Justin Bieber can probably beat the Miz."
Privately, McMahon desperately wants a big name to face the Taker.
He has already struck out on Brock Lesnar (thanks to his UFC contract and his boss), Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone and of course Barney.
These big names refused for many reasons. Vince was desperate to bring in a big name. He was willing to give a blank check (Linda!) to any celebrity who would accept.
The Miz was at a Disney function. A bunch of parasitic 12 year old girls were swooning over him. Until they saw the Canadian phenom, Justin Bieber.
Miz immediately called Vince, telling him, "Why not Justin Bieber? He can out-wrestle half of the Divas."
Vince, seeking to please his PG audience (and to further alienate his 18-35 male demographic), has signed Justin Bieber to a one day contract on April 1.
The stipulation for the match is a lumberjack's match with 20 teenage girls surrounding the ring. The guest referee will be none other than Elvis.
Elvis rose from the dead along with the Undertaker and the ring announcer, Michael Jackson.
WWE projects the Pay-Per-View buy rates to be at an all-time high. This revenue is planned to finance another failed Linda McMahon campaign in 2012.
Information courtesy of jeffawesome.com
Note: If you actually thought this was real, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S REAL!!!