I don't believe in a loving caring god anymore -haven't since they dragged me out of my house and put me with DFC...
I go in next Friday for another shoulder surgery ...it is that or live my life in agonizing pain or in a haze from pain killers ...here is my point -I KNOW my shoulder is horribly messed up and can never be totally repaired -I KNOW this -then why do I have to be in agony 24/7 ? I am on pain meds thet would knock down a rhino and they have stopped working so it's back to the operating room .
when i left the hospital last week I went through the Oncology ward hoping this would put things in perspective -I left that ward wanting to blow my head off.
What manner of being would create a creature knowing they would one day face CHRONIC pain with no hope ?
I underwent the last surgery with optimism and determination -I am going on the table this time hoping I die .
Suggestions -and please don't sat you 'll pray for me .God doesn't care.