Reprinted with kind permission from the June 26th, 2011 edition of the Lake Wobegon Herald Star
LWCC reinstates wrestling team for 2011-2012 season
Lake Wobegon (Minnesota Press) -- The Mist County Continuing Education Council yesterday announced the reinstatement of the Lake Wobegon Community College wrestling program starting this Fall for the 2011-2012 season.
The Council President Sylvia Dickmeyer also announced the re-employment Athletic Coordinator Richard "Dick" Dickmeyer as Head Coach effective immediately & left it up to him to find whomever he could fill the assistant coaching positions within the budgeted regions of the Tri-county area. Coach stated that he intended to field a team that would "consistently over-estimate their own god-given talents & capabilities" and "represent the community well no matter the temperature nor the road conditions."
President Dickmeyer recognized the generous donations for team water bottles by Ralph's Pretty Good grocery & team towels from Jack's Very Warm Car Service. Florian & Carl Kresbach of Kresbach & Son Chevrolet said that they would try to get everyone on the team all some well made socks before the season started.
The 'Fighting Sturgeons' also unveiled a new team slogan & t-shirts that proudly display the school colors (Sky Blue & Forest Green) and the words "The Toughest Fish you'll ever meet on the mat!" *
Father Emil (retired) of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility Catholic Church announced that they will be sponsoring an Ice-fishing fundraiser in Early October. Clint & Clarence Bunsen of Bunsen Brothers Ford, announced that the Sons of Knute Temple with be having a Tuna Hotdish & Bake Sale next month to start the fund raising. Not to be out done, Pastor Liz of the Lake Wobegon Lutheran Church announced a Lutefisk "Ferment-off" in September to aid the team as well. That should give all the Ladies & Mother's of Scandinavian descent of Lake Wobegon sufficient time to create some delicious Lutefisk to put into a friendly competition & help the team with their modest financial needs, (the most pressing of which will be the fuel to put into Coach Dickmeyer's 1979 Plymouth Minivan for away trips & of course the extensive oil changes it requires).
Coach Dickmeyer also announced the LWCC's schedule will include home matches against St. Olaf's & New Albion while the Fighting Sturgeons will travel to St. Wendels' & St. Cloud, the last of which should prove to be the battle for supremacy of Central Minnesota's largest fresh-water management district. There will also be an attempt to schedule some Wisconsin schools provided that there is a Kohl's or a Kowalski's along the way & that the town is not of French-Canadian heritage.
The editors of the Herald Star would like to remind its readers that any Lake Wobegon residents unable to participate in any of the team fundraisers can donate anonymously down at Bob's Bank, Monday through Friday, 9 am to 4 pm, (except Tuesdays when Bob goes golfing around 2 pm, in the Summer to take advantage of daylight savings time) which of course is in the familiar Kelly Green Mobile Home near the Towne Hall downtown. There's plenty of free parking. And don't forget to say: Go Sturgeons!
(*Editor's note: The slogan chosen was chosen from one of the the many entered in the Wrestling Team Slogan Contest. The contest winner was 9 year Lucy Norquest of Mrs Keillor's above average 4th grade class. Lucy is the great grand-daughter of Lake Wobegon wrestling Legend & Tri-county champion Gunther Olafson. Lucy's grand prize was a baby duck named Arthur.)