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Thread: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

  1. #1
    Ancient Arachnid Spider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    I got this off of another website. Think Jeff Foxworthy in headgear.

    You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    you take your family on vacation to Fargo, ND in July instead of the beach.

    your wife's oriental rug is rolled up behind the couch to make room for a wrestling mat.

    at Thanksgiving dinner instead of football you take a throwing dummy out back and have a competition in throwing it.

    the only t-shirts you own have something to do with wrestling.

    you've ever been irrationally angry at a scale.

    you find yourself over the course of a tournament reffing, working a table, and coaching all at once.

    you have a dream that you are 10 over right before weigh-ins. You wake up from the dream and check your weight.

    during a family planning discussion with your wife, you make it clear that any unprotected "bedroom gymnastics" 9 months prior to the month of March is absolutely out of the question.

    you hit a hard sprawl whenever someone drops down to tie their shoelaces.

    you insist on being totally stripped down to the nude before stepping on any scale, like at your doctor's office in front of the nurse, or even the big scale at the carnival in front of the "Guess-Your-Weight" guy.

    you tape your laces on your dress shoes, tennis shoes, and even go so far as to tape your Crocs.

    you teach junior to handfight and look away from a half before he is out of diapers.

    you can't help but snicker when someone tells you they missed lunch and they are feeling light headed.

    you get that look in your eye when everyone else is just horsing around in the back yard.

    your fianc? is angry to learn that you've paid the reception DJ extra to put together a Lunatic Fringe/Eye of the Tiger/Thunderstruck medley for your first dance together as husband & wife.

    the lady cutting your hair at the local salon is afraid to touch your ears.

    you have to break out an old belt every winter to keep you pants up.

    some one asks you if you know any wrestlers from where they go to college and you name off the entire roster from 125-HWT, wrestlers in the past that wrestled for them and incoming freshman.

    everytime you go to shake hands with someone, you have to fight off the urge to arm drag them.

    high crotch is not an offensive statement.

    the only time you have been in a particular city or state was for a wrestling event, and you remember the year, participants, etc.

    you have the overwhelming urge to verbally abuse, your overweight sister-in-law, when she says, "I'm starving."

    you never intend to lose weight on purpose ever again.

    you continually spit because you think it will make you lose weight.

    when talking wrestling, some idiot starts harping about WWF and your blood pressure jumps over 20 points.

    while visiting Jamestown, VA, the tour guide tells you that it was founded by John Smith and you point to your “John Smith is my Homeboy” shirt.

    you go to Palm Springs on business the first week of March, then go to St. Louis two weeks later on vacation to see the NCAA tournament.

    you've been at a tournament and had someone come up and introduce themselves by their screenname from a wrestling forum.

    you talk to a complete stranger for an hour if you both have wrestled.

    you talk about Tadzhminatov and Abdurakmanov, and the person you are talking to thinks you are talking about something medical.

    you are giving blood, and it occurs to you that this may have been a very efficient yet overlooked method for dropping that last half-pound.

    you’re excited to get the flu or have the runs because you know making weight is now that much easier.

    you've ever shown up to gym class with long johns, three t-shirts, and a sweat-suit on.

    you start counting with your thumb instead of your index finger and hold up your thumb and index finger for two as they do in freestyle when giving the 2 signal.

    when someone is choking at a restaurant and somebody comes behind and applies the Heimlich maneuver you signal that they’re still neutral.

    you stop at every drinking fountain you see and remember the good old days when you were sucked out and couldn’t have a sip.

    you snatch up and cradle your unsuspecting family pet on a daily basis.

    your family tries to hide every time you talk about a new wrestling move you learned because they know you are going to want to try it out on one of them.

    the best thing you have ever tasted in your life is warm water after making weight.

    you still want to body toss your wife of 18 years when hugging.
    Atrophy: what you get when you win atournament.

  2. #2

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    "You might be a wrestling junkie... if you post lists like this!" ;-)

    Good stuff, Jack! Thanks for sharing

  3. #3

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    I vaguely remember reading something very similar to this (or may have been the same thing) on TheMat a LONG time ago.

    Still cool to see it again though regardless.

  4. #4

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    I had to copy that as well and share it via facebook, thanks Spider.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flop The Nuts View Post
    [D]on't let lack of knowledge impact your ability to post as if you are knowledgeable.

  5. #5

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    Nice. The beautiful thing - only wrestlers would understand this.

  6. #6
    Olympic Champ kr1963's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Clearwater, Florida, United States

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    YOUR FAMILY are wrestling junkies if...

    ALL the women @ your dinner table are pigging out & ALL the men @ it are talking about their weight!

    All the breakables in the house have been PERMANENTLY REMOVED!

    In the winter, the DVD player NEVER has movies in it!

    YOUR MOM suggests subscribing to the BTN!

    Your sister starts a fight in the stands @ a dual meet cuz she's the LOUDEST one in the entire Gym...!

    Your parents idea of tucking you in was a gutwrench...!

    You are embarrassed cuz you are the only one in the family without califlower ear!

  7. #7

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    You know you are a wrestling junkie when you actually think the ladies like cauliflower ears.

  8. #8
    Ancient Arachnid Spider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    - your girlfriend/wife says, "top or bottom?" and you defer.
    Atrophy: what you get when you win atournament.

  9. #9

    Default Re: You might be a WRESTLING JUNKY if . . .

    haha thats great man lol
    Last edited by davidayers; 04-14-2010 at 02:54 PM.

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