ISU2008

Eugene police have reported Jeffrey Dransfeldt, former sports editor of the Oregon Daily Emerald, was discovered today in a sauna at a local Holiday Inn, wearing plastics with his hands taped to the support rails of a treadmill, this forcing him to keep running. He also had severe matburn on his face and a bad case of cauliflower ear.

There are currently no suspects, and Eugene Police Chief Shane Webster said he does not anticipate any investigation. "Look, from the security camera footage, it looks like he was only in the sauna for about 10 minutes. When I was cutting weight I stayed in there for over an hour. It's not that big of a deal."

Dransfeldt was taken to the top hospital in Eugene and is said to be resting comfortably, but still whining. Hospital Chief Chuck Kearney said, "Due to the shortage of pick-up basketball courts on the Oregon campus, we have set up a makeshift court in Mr. Dransfeldt's room, since pick-up basketball is obviously his biggest concern. Sometimes the clumsy players knock over his bed, but at least they have a place to play."

__________________
I think all radical muslims should skateboard. After all, they are radical.

Spider

Tell him he can leave when he's lost 17 pounds.

__________________
"Love never dies." The Beatles

ODH

I like that Shane Webster has become chief of police.
Does any one have an update on what he is really doing?

angelfish

Well done!

__________________

"These guys are so far from peakin' it's not even funny." -- Mark Ironside (January 22, 2008)

goferphan

I had heard that he stumbled, fell while on the treadmill, and broke his wrist at a funny angle before a mystery samaritan picked him up and made him keep running.

__________________
"That is what Gable would have done to Owings the second time around. (Metcalf/Caldwell)"