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ISU2008 · 05-14-2008, 08:27 PM

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and sh*t on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your ass and take your dollar.

Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. You do the math.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just, the Islands.

If you can think of a swear word, chances are Chuck Norris invented it while in bed with your mother.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

05-14-2008, 08:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
ISU2008 The Molecular Man Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Cedar Rapids Posts: 2,611 My Mood: Tournaments Joined: 3 Tournament Wins: 0	Re: Chuck Norris Jokes The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and sh*t on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with. If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your ass and take your dollar. Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. You do the math. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just, the Islands. If you can think of a swear word, chances are Chuck Norris invented it while in bed with your mother. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. __________________ I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin, but I think unicorns are pretty kick-ass.